i realised i have yet another sort of dilemma.. man.. this is one problem i come across ALOT...these days, life seems like one big dilemma to me.. so this is my sort-of problem... lets say.. i have a disagreement with a friend. i know for a fact that i didnt do anything wrong... and now we're sorta not talking/half mad at eachother...

so now i obviously have two choices... 1. keep holding that grudge, and wait til the other person says/does something about it... 2. apologise, even though that person is wrong, and im not... so here i am presented with another problem. im stubborn. i refuse to admit im wrong. only cause im smart enough to know not to argue about things i dont know...

so... so i follow my heart, in knowing im right, and risk this friendship? or do i once again, possibly risk my insanity and apologise? am i going to be selfless? or selfish?

and why is it that when it comes to disagreements, that im always making the first move? am i really that unapproachable? sure, im loud, and seem intimidating... but if you know me well enough, you'll know that if you have something to say, ill listen.


*sigh* i once read a quote somewhere.. it went along the lines of.. life is like a movie.. if nothing good has happened in the beginning, you wouldnt blame a guy for walking out on it...
last night when i went to bed, i was really upset. i started having pathetic thoughts.. i started wondering how much easier it would be to just kill myself. yeah, so stupid.. life has so much to offer.. like we all know, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem... anyway.. i was so upset, i actually started to plan it.. then i stopped to think. i was like 'damn. i must be really upset to be planning this...' then i cried. and fell asleep.

[quoting hanson] such is life...