I dont know if anyones noticed lately, but these last few weeks have been one hell of a shit hole for me. It's not just uni, it's everything. Everything is getting to me. I've been on edge, I've been up and down, but mostly I've been down.

Everything that happens is somehow affecting me. I'm taking everything personally, whether it was intended that way or not. I feel like I'm stuck in this sort of situation where I can't move on - I'm hanging on to what I've already got, because I'm afraid to test the waters. I'm happy with what I've got, because it's all that I've got. I wonder if I'm making sense right now.

But recently, I've slowly weaned myself off what I've got, and I'm testing the new waters - like a little kid trying new foods, because coco-pops aren't the only awesome food out there. I've decided that what I thought I had was good enough for me *isn't* good enough for me. Or maybe I'm not good enough for it anymore. Who knows.


I hate the fact that I'm holding on to stuff when I thought that I'd already let it go ages ago. It hurts so much, and I don't know what to do about it. I can't even confront my feelings, because I'm not even sure how I feel. I think it's affecting me more than it should. It shouldn't even matter to me. BUT WHY DOES IT MATTER?!?!?!

I need to learn to let go. But I think the thing with me, is that I let go, but I never forget the feelings involved with whatever it was. So I suppose in a way, I'm still holding on. I can't forget. I don't forget. I wish life was easier.




BTW. Anyone want to find some awesome charity, and help out with me? I'm thinking of a homeless shelter, and feeding hungry hobos *cue mc singing HUNGRY HUNGRY HO-BOS!!!! and getting death-stared at by someone walking by*

also. anyone who lives nearby wanna go bike riding? Jenny's bike died, and she won't get it fixed [she mentioned something about vincent ;)]

yes. main thing is the charity. I really want to get involved with charities, and doing some work to help people who aren't as fortunate as I am =)